


A Friend Indeed.

by Gaffsie



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Episode: s03e17 Sunday, F/M, First Kiss, Friendship, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-17
Updated: 2011-11-17
Packaged: 2017-10-26 09:19:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/281351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gaffsie/pseuds/Gaffsie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For <a href="http://lilyfarfalla.livejournal.com/profile"><img/></a><a href="http://lilyfarfalla.livejournal.com/"><b>lilyfarfalla</b></a>, who wanted Elizabeth to kiss someone who was awesome, like John. I wish I could have made it more about the awesome, and less about shared grief, but what can you do. Part of my ongoing effort to make John have a beer with everyone. Hopefully it's not veering too close to melodrama.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Friend Indeed.

It was a beautiful night. The moon was full and bright and when Elizabeth looked over at the city from her spot where she stood on the eastern pier, Atlantis didn't look like anything so much as a diamond sparkling in the water. She didn't walk all the way out here all that often, much preferring the centrally located gateroom balcony for those times when she needed a breather, but tonight she wanted the solitude of this empty part of the city. The radio was with her – these days she only took it off when she showered or slept – but she was off-duty and didn't really expect anyone to need her within the next hours. She could have stayed in her quarters; no one would interrupt her there, but she'd needed to distance herself from the scene that had played out there earlier in the day. Besides, looking at the ocean always calmed her thoughts.

She'd known from the start that getting involved with Mike had been a mistake, but he'd come to her again after the funeral, and god help her, after everything that had happened she'd jumped at the chance to have his shoulder to cry on. He was as arrogant as ever, and it had been so easy to let him take over, let him lead her to her bed and embrace her. It had felt good to let go for a while, to let someone else be in charge, but it had still been a terrible idea, and in the morning she'd told him so. He'd stormed out, absolutely furious with her, and she hadn't had any time to digest it before she had to rush to her office to prepare for the department heads meeting at 8.20.

That had been hours ago, and she was glad she finally had time to think. Or, she thought wryly to herself, to _mope_. She wished she could blame Mike for it, but it wasn't like she hadn't been at fault. It had been the moment of weakness on her part that had made him think she was interested in something more. _Gah!_ She just felt so stupid!

“Hey,” someone said behind her, and Elizabeth was startled out of her reverie.

She turned around. “John!” Quickly composing herself, she added, “what are you doing out here?”

He shrugged.“I was just out for a walk. Didn't expect to see anyone here.” The unopened bottle of beer in his hand belied his words, and suddenly Elizabeth remembered (or had she ever really forgotten?) that this was John's designated thinking spot. They'd joked about it in the past, her with her Balcony of Deep Thought and him with his Pier of Solitude.

“Same as me then,” she smirked, knowing that he'd pick up on the challenge in her voice.

He squinted at her. “Yeah? Mind if I join you?”

“Not at all.”

Accepting it for the invitation it was, he walked the last few steps towards the edge of the pier and lowered himself to the ground. When he noticed Elizabeth bemusement he deliberately patted the ground next to himself. “Take a load off,” he said.

She sat down on his right side, their situation feeling strangely intimate even though there was a respectful distance between them.

“Beer?” John asked, extending the bottle to her. The polite refusal was already on her lips, ready to spring into action, but what the hell. She would be off-duty for far longer than it would take for the alcohol to leave her system. “Thank you,” she said instead, and accepted the bottle.

It tasted exceedingly bitter, not at all like the rich stouts that Simon sometimes used to indulge himself with while they were together, but somehow it was exactly what she needed at that moment.

“Didn't peg you for a beer drinker,” John said when she passed the bottle over to him.

She snorted gracelessly. “I'm not. Don't tell anyone, but I prefer gin.”

“I'll keep that in mind for your next birthday,” he said, and pressed his shoulder against hers companionably.

“You know,” he said, a mischievous tilt to his voice, I didn't really come out here because I wanted a walk.”

Elizabeth looked over at him. “No!” She exclaimed, widening her eyes exaggeratedly. “I would never have guessed.”

John bowed his head and looked at her from underneath his lashes,”And _I'm_ guessing,” he pressed, “that you didn't either.”

“No,” Elizabeth sighed. “Man problem,” she said, just for the joy of watching his eyes widen in shock. He even put the beer bottle down, she was amused to see.

“Really now.” He shot her a thoughtful glance. “Is this about the Branton guy?” Noticing Elizabeth's surprise, he added, “Teyla told me you two went on a date together.”

“We did,” Elizabeth said. “And then we decided not to pursue it, which was the right decision to make.”

“And that's why you're out here... walking?” John said dubiously.

Elizabeth groaned. “No, that would be because after all that's happened, I'm _stupid_ enough to sleep with him, and then blow him off again, and he called me on it”

If John's eyebrows climbed any higher, Elizabeth thought, they'd disappear under his hairline. “Wait, so you sought him out?”

“No. He came to me last night. He said he figured I needed the moral support.”

“Right,” John said, dry as the desert. “And he figured the best way to give you that was with his _dick_.

Elizabeth arched an eyebrow. “I wasn't a passive participant.”

“Yeah, and the moment you were in the right mind again you regretted it.”

He definitely had a point, and Elizabeth felt kind of stupid for falling for Mike's crap in the first place. She sighed. “You're saying I shouldn't feel like I stringed him along and took advantage of him.”

John pointed at her.”That's exactly what I'm saying. Face it, the guy's a jerk.”

“I hate it when you're right,” she said, but she was joking, and they both knew it.

“So...” He hesitated. “Do you still need some moral support?” He bit his lip. “I know you were closer to Carson than me, but he was still my friend.”

She looked down at her hands. “I think I'm getting too used to death. I've cried for him, and I miss him, but it feels like it's become a routine at this point.” She could feel tears starting to well up in her eyes, and furiously wiped at them with her sleeves. “I had a dog when I was little. His name was Boris, and when he died, I cried for days. It took me weeks before I could even hear his name without bursting into tears, and now, a friend is gone and I shed a tear at his funeral and the next day it's like it never happened. It's like I'm turning into _a robot_.”

She could feel John clumsily pat her on the back, and she really loved him in that moment, for being her rock.

“Hey,” he murmured. “None of that.” Carefully, he enveloped her in an awkward hug, and in the midst of all this despair, she had to laugh. Impulsively, she turned into the hug and let him hold her the way she wanted to be held,letting his jacket absorb her tears and feeling John's pointy chin dig into her shoulder.

They sat like that for minutes, just grieving together, and to Elizabeth, it was the first thing that had felt right since Carson's death. Gently, she disentangled herself from him. “Thank you,” she said.

“Same,” John said, and though he didn't look half as bad as she felt, she could see that his eyes were suspiciously bright.

“I don't know what I'd do without you,” she admitted.

John reached out to her, touching her cheek with a tenderness that surprised her. You gotta know-” he leaned in and pressed a soft kiss on her lips. “You gotta know how important you are to me,” he gruffly said.

She knew there could never be anything between them – and she knew they both cherished their friendship too much to risk it over something like this – but it felt good knowing that whatever else happened, she could always count on John being there for her.  



End file.
